Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Loving can hurt.

Make me laugh. Again. 

Loving can hurt. Loving can hurt sometimes. 
But its the only thing that I know. 

I never thought that loving someone can really hurt as bad as this. 
Never in my life I thought that I already found someone that fit me
Perfectly as pieces of puzzle complete each other. 
I never thought that I'll love someone as deeply as this. 
To stay with someone till we grey and old. 
I never thought that I'll lost you one day. 
Never in my life. 

And finally all of these had come to an end. 
And I'm lost in my own world. 
Sinking deep. 

Only someone who can dive deep to the bottom of the ocean can find me. 

Friday, 14 April 2017

Yearly post

Early Hannah and Lana Birthday Party
8 april 2017


Dear all, 
Seems like i'm doing a yearly post nowadays. 
I forgot how writing had been helping me and calming me down previously. 
It help me to express my feeling. and I think, not many people knew about my blog. 
So, I'm able to write freely. 

Its been a year since I start working. Exactly 4th April 2016, I started working as a houseman. Not a functioning houseman initially. Its took some time to become a functioning houseman. If you know what I meant. Still adapting. Oh, night shift tonite at o&g department. Hope everything goes well. 

I feel like I'm losing myself. Where is the old me? The fun me? The enthusiastic me? The now me is like living but without really living. Zombie maybe? Haha. But true enough. I have been going to work according to the shifts given, went back home, and sleep. The routine goes on. 

I need something to get me back to life! 
I need adrenaline rush. I need something for me to look forward to. 
I need a vacay. 
I need you, but you always been so busy. 

Right now, i'm just glad for having my family member around. 
If i'm living alone. Maybe I'll look like a zombie rite now. 

Lots of love, 
26 years old malay lady. 

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Life Bumps

dan salam sejahtera...

Its been a while since I do some writing here. A lot of past travelling history, but havent documented it yet. Hurm. Life nowadays is hard. Being a doctor is a challenge. I dont know whether I can cope with it or not. Trying so hard. Until I feel like - not to try anymore. Everyday I felt like quitting this game of life. 

To read or not to read. There's off day. Once a week. But I always and always use it to have some fun. End up during the night, I fell asleep and not reading any books. And getting scold the next day because not knowing anything. My fault. Too much enjoying my offday. 

Family. All I need is their support. Not criticism. Not judgement. Not high hope. I'm struggling here. Please understand. 

Its Ramadhan. And I havent really been a good muslim during this festive month. 

Now, I dont think I know who I am anymore. I'm lost. Lost in this busy life. Lost in this hectic life. Lost in this miserable life. Lost in this complicated life. 

I wish I can just fly away and run away from this life. 

Yours Truly. 
Writer of this blog.